You!

You will know when I say
You will want when I give
You will look when I see
You will hold when I fall
You will pull me if I wander
You will smile if I come back
Will you hold me if I say...I love you!

Jingle Bells.....

Well every year towards the second half of December, I start feeling good and bad. Good because Christmas and New Years comes knocking on our doors and sad because I am usually away from my family during the festive season.

Christmas brings back a lot of memories from the past and so even though I am not a Christian, I can relate to it very easily. Have you read Charles Dickens’ Christmas Carol? Do read it if you have not.

My Christmas memory takes me back to my childhood. Bought up in an Air Force camp, we would always have a Christmas Party that would be organized by the elders. We would have magic shows, fancy dress competition, games and loads of yummy food. The best part was the Santa Claus and the gifts he would distribute. With age the gifts became interesting and precious.

Apart from the Children’s party, my parents would make it a point to keep something near our pillows so that we would wake up with gift the next day. It was an amazing feeling because my dad till the longest time wanted us to believe in Santa Claus. There were so many times I would tell him “come on…you kept it” and he would say a big NO. I actually loved the big NO. I do not know why he did it, but today I feel that he probably wanted us to believe in hope. He probably wanted us to keep the innocence alive till as long as we could. As we grew up, I and my sister got to know how Santa Claus never existed. But somewhere we just wanted to keep him alive. It was a strange thing in a way.
One of my fondest gifts was a grey polar bear (a stuffed toy) who still stays with me. He is called Vincent and he is my secret friend. It is precious because it was my first surprise ever. It was given by my father. He had been away on duty for a while and we were missing him. He just landed up on Christmas with a gift when all we wanted was him! The toy is in my mind part of my “First Surprise” ever.

Another gift was a story one of our teachers had narrated in class. It was about the “Little Match Girl” and how during Christmas, she was all alone, homeless and cold. She had no one but a match stick to keep her warm. The story had touched all of us so much that we had tears at the end of the story. All of us did something sweet for children who did not have anyone to celebrate Christmas with. Those were my first lessons to touch lives.

So, while you are shopping and enjoying yourselves partying, do take a while to think about the Christmas of the Past and smile at the times gone by. It’s an amazing feeling to visit the past…specially the ones that made the present so good!

Merry Christmas to all of you!!!

I hold my hand out

I hold my hand out
And I hold emptiness
I try to touch
And I feel nothing
I take a step forward
And I forget where to go
I hear a whisper
And you are gone

Pieces of me

Lots of people who meet me think I am a bundle of contradictions. I quite agree to that. Although not always.
There are very simple things that make me happy. I like to keep my life as simple as possible. I like to sort things out before I sleep. I hate to sleep over a fight. I also do not like to talk much about my life to people. There is only one friend I share everything of my life with and she is very important. So she has a piece of me with her. It’s scary but I am comfortable with this.
Recently someone told me he was “smell” sensitive. Well even I am. I am sensitive the smell of a new book. I love the smell so much that I make it a point to buy my own book. I never borrow books. I love to keep my books as a collection with me. Each book on that shelf has a story to it other than its own. I buy books when I am travelling, when I am bored and when I want something to divert from the mundane life. So you know why they all have a story to tell me. One such book that stays with me is “The Christmas Carol” by Dickens. It’s a book I had read when I was a kid. The book stays as a memory as with that book I realised that even books can make you cry. Similar was the story of “The Match Girl” I do not even remember the author of the story but this story really disturbed me. The pathos was so real for a child to grasp. Now these are the stories I would want to write one day. I would want my stories to be real as much real as possible and at the same time impact the child in such a way that it stays on. That’s what a story is all about.
Some other things that really make me happy are old records. Yes my family has been into a lot of music and the variety has spanned from old English, to Hindi, to Bengali. I still remember the Sunday mornings. My father has a liking towards music and he loves to enjoy his music. So he blasts every song he loves. I still remember looking forward to these Sunday mornings. I was woken up my some melodious music. There are just so many songs – Cliff Richards, Simon and Garfunkel, Paul Anka, Elvis, Kishore Kumar, Mukesh, Hemant Kumar, Tagore music....the list is endless. Music still makes me happy. When I am really low, I just turn to my music. Till the time I don’t start humming the song and let myself transcend into another world I can’t stop listening I guess. Like even right now I am listening to some songs and getting into the flow and writing.
I have been on a break from work and everything in general. Just being back home and relaxing is so good for a change. I want to get bored so that I feel like going back to life. I do not know if this is a common thing with people. But I love taking these trips away from the world. I love to travel and be with myself. I love the journey more than reaching a destination. Just the fact that I meet so many new faces and have so many experiences is amazing. I may sound like a romantic here but I sometimes love to be in the dream world of my own. I am in control in this world. I like it. Probably a reason why I love John Keats. The pathos and the suffering was so heroic. As if he loved being sad. He almost defied therefore the concept of sadness. He celebrated it. I go back to his poetry every now and then.
For me a stimulating conversation is the best. I love the fact that I can connect with people. I have met some very interesting people in my life and most of them have made an impact in my life. I can write about them but they are just so precious that I keep the near and do not talk about them. I do not flaunt them. But trust me they all are such good people. Something to contribute in my life.
For now I am happy to share a page from my life with all of you there. More to keep coming later!! By the way each word I write is also a piece of me!!!
Good night to all of you!

For all the Fauji Brats!!! :)

Ok so a friend of mine with an Army background wrote this amazing nostalgic piece....most of my firends are from the Air force but life is i guess the same more or less....enjoy guys and hey miss all of you...

You know about cants and you know about 2 tons and 3 tons. Yes you have climbed precariously the steps of those large shaktimaan’s we called “School buses”. You know about night raid’s and calling on’s where you get free food, especially the cheese with pineapple starters if you behave well. You also know that mess parties (not to be read as messy) where they serve pudding of custard with fruit which IS the most widely available and accepted “pudding”. Did you say you dislike custard?

Baccha party is not a party dedicated to you, but yes it’s the clan name you earn as you learn to belong to the regimental parties with the rest of the “just as lost” kids sit together, whiling away time, while our parents conveniently join the main “party”. Good evening uncle and good evening aunty IS the most boring thing to say repeatedly at drawing rooms filled with large number of uncle’s and aunty’s who are your parents friends. One amongst the many who come by year on year.
If you are a girl growing up in the army (or any other) cant, remember, on the dance floor you are going to be asked for a dance, and the phone number would follow suit – yes its just as simple. NDA ball, may queen ball, or all the other balls, (no pun intended) no matter how much you curse them, still make you feel good about life when you are old (or getting there) and wrinkled and miss being treated all lady like with red carpets and the works. If you are guy, remember, that opening the door for the lady, just like the way your dad did for any “young” or “old” lady is and always will be fashionable. If girls you meet outside of army life say they don’t like it, what they really mean is - they love it! Black metal soldiers or the wall hangings from Rajasthan adorning the drawing room space is just something that you will learn to adore when you step outside the army (or any other defense) environment.
“Bhaiya” – the one who always came on cycle and always added a smile to your life is an integral part of the memory process. Keep it safe. Clean areas with painted red and white rocks, with arrow signs on roads, where ever needed, large trees, loads of sunshine and bajaj chetak. Fauji Life is tucked in between. That mid-way halt when the “regiment” moved, where we stopped for chaat, will always feel like a warm memory. Yes! Don’t forget aunties who are famous for a particular dish, because no matter after how many years you meet, you will remember their “bhel puri’s” or “chicken biryaani’s.” Say you meet after a decade, and you are just over 5 feet tall, and this aunty comes up to you and says she remembers seeing you in a nappy. The face goes red. Trust me “thanda thanda paani” by God forsaken Baba Saigal has haunted me all my life. Do not resist or throw a protest, its futile, or else they will make you sing it no matter how grown up you are right now. You know what they mean when they say “we were together in…” Going to play means children’s park where we learnt to get bullied and learnt to handle bruised knees. Climbing trees will always be a story that you recall fondly.

So where are you from? Where did you spend your childhood days? Questions like these make you start to think up ways to give the most simple, close ended, crisp answer, and after a while you realize “all over India” is the convenient answer.
MI room does not figure in this dictionary, but your vocab does know how to keep that record. MES furniture and white coloured cupboards are definitely always the most convenient. The house that you built will know how the drawing room and dining room needs its space. You have lived it. You will always regard KV’s to be the best schools ever, never mind the bihari accent teachers you met in Tenga Valley or the SUPW class that you always looked forward to so you could snooze. Also, once out of the army (or any other fauji) life, you will be asked “what are you?” and what they really want to know is what religion you follow. And the question makes you think.
Picnics, or the Holi get together’s or the Lodi party, or the swimming pool party, or the club membership, they all will figure in old pictures. Family day holds a special meaning, as you take a peek without really intending to understand at how your dad has been working. You know how to make yourself comfortable at a new place, you have done this all your childhood life. Painted boxes, hordes of them, neatly numbered with your father’s initials painted on them, just means you remember the smell of fresh paint and the Jonga’s when your father had a “posting”. It also means you can roam about and give a hand in “packing”. Its always more fun unpacking though, setting up “your room”. Ha! This is your postcard memory. Slam book has a special place because it has so many places and so many people. Your list of childhood friends is as diverse as it can be and you know when that uncle is talking too much and his wife is mostly silent, talking in short sentences only when needed, spells gossip because uncle is drunk and aunty is mad at him. And you are suppressing your giggles.
Gardens, water falls, rivers, water sports, horse riding, billiards, golf, badminton, basketball, hide and seek and pithu.. the games that you actually learnt, just that after growing up you wonder, phew! I learnt so much and practice so little because I cant make time. Parade’s, or the army band strumming tunes you can clearly identify, the bagpipers, the DMS boots or the broke shoes. They have a special place, so does the colour of your father’s uniform. You get tagged as a member of SODA (Senior Officers Daughter’s Association) when YO’s (young officers) are trying to get cute and know they will have to try harder.
Oh and yes! The dining in and dining out parties, you know them so well. You peek from the curtains of the room adjacent to the drawing room as the young officer visiting your dad sits pretty on the MES sofa’s in the drawing room. You know the time, when small talk is fashionable. Canteen – the place you always wanted to ransack as a kid and never really got around it. Or the white coloured Maruti 800 or Fiat that your father had. Brasso is dear to your life, with so much brass around, you know your house always needed it. The smell of Charmis cream or Pond’s powder or the “old spice” bottle you identify with – stuff that will always get picked up in canteens in to your homes and later in your memories.
Milton bottles, Borosil glasses, the kitchen gardens, the blue and white school uniforms... GOC, commandant, you know those words. You know those vehicles with red flash lights on them. Soldiers marching past, Saavdhan is something u’ve often heard in corridors and Jai Hind holds a special place. You know what they mean when they say they are going for an exercise. You wait for the chocolate your dad would get you once he is back from that God forsaken place he went to and called if possible to let us know that he is OK. You know the times when uncle was on exercise and aunty was expecting and you spent the night over at her place, just in case.

Then you grow up. And you hold this chest of memories with these people, and you know you look back and say “once a fauji. Always a fauji!” and you also say "it takes one to know one!"

I miss...

The season is changing. And its that time of the year when you want to be home. Snuggle up into a quilt and just treat yourself to some nice hot chocolate...

I miss home

I miss my books

I miss my music

I miss my room

I miss the food

I miss the garden

I miss my scribbles

I miss the woolens,

I miss the smell of the quilt

I miss the morning dew that made the grass slippery

I miss the morning sun that touched my face

I miss my solitary walks

I miss myself.

Changing weather…changes my mood

I usually sleep with my windows open as I love the early morning breeze. However it’s not often that I get to feel it in Mumbai. It’s usually a blazing sun that wakes me up.

Today was different. There was a slight nip in the air and there was no sun…and my favourite ‘smoky sun’ was back. Got up with a smile and suddenly there a gush of cold air that hit my face. This took me down the memory lane. To the streets of my childhood! So I sat there for a while and gave my childhood a thought. Looking outside the window were morning joggers sweating it out in the park below my house. There was an old couple who were in their winter gears and other youngsters were just lapping an extra round because of the energy that the weather got into them. The constant smile on my face did not leave me for a long time. Till I had to give myself a push to start my day’s work. The window today was the past lover who just wanted me to keeping going back to it. I just knew that I should not waste any more time with it, but I could not resist it.

Made myself a huge mug of tea. Took it in my hand and again walked towards the window. My god the window was really tempting. My plants were dancing with joy as I was giving them more attention today than the usual days. Then I noticed a small bud in one of the flower pots. It was the beginning of a new life, it was a beginning a new mood for me. Yes I just realized my mood was changing because the mood outside had changed. I was smiling again. J

Attractions !!

Very easy to get attracted and very difficult to avoid it!!!

Well, off late I have been attracting all the wrong people in the world. While I feel great that people drop in compliments etc…it kind of gets disgusting to avoid them. I have been running away from men who are not supposed to behave in a certain way. Ethically not correct! What is the justification to a 45 year old getting charged up seeing a 20 something… please men not everybody is a Kabir Bedi or a Salman Rushdie. You have children, you have a perfect wife - stay happy!!!

But then again I might be very prudish to think so. I recently happened to catch “The Graduate”. For those who have not seen it, see it. I actually didn’t like the movie that much even five years ago. But Boredom made me go back to it. The whole concept of an older woman attracting a younger man was initially absurd. But then Attraction is something you can’t justified. I get attracted to a good conversationalist. I get attracted to men who would be rakish in their behavior. I cannot justify that. So while a Rake will attract me towards him, an investment banker who my mom chose for me to marry will repel me like crazy.

So anyway, my point is since you can’t justify the emotion, please go ahead and let people know that you are attracted to them. Also please distinguish the feelings. Its attraction not love. Its temporary and not permanent. Please don’t pursue as if it were the end of the world. You will be attracted to something or someone again and its perfectly fine. Do not justify it. Do not mess it up by doing that.

While this might be a volatile article…my point is let’s be mature and understand attraction and not mess it up! Love is something more insane than this. Let’s stay away from that!!


All the best...:)

Confessions!

I quote from my favorite play (Look Back in Anger):

"It's no good fooling about with love you know. You can't fall into it like a soft job without dirtying up your hands. It takes muscle and guts. If you can't bear the thought of messing up your nice, tidy soul, you better give up the whole idea of life and become a saint, because you'll never make it as a human being. It's either this world... or the next."

I love this part as it tells you how you need to be brave and have the balls to go ahead and experience the opposite sex. It’s all about branding at the end of the day. Let’s put it like this…I see what you show me and Vice versa. There has to be something to keep me going. I need the rush all the time. Just like you expect me to be sexy and hot, I expect you to show some brilliance. Yes that is exactly what attracts me. The intelligence to keep up to the energy in me. The intelligence to have a stimulating conversation.
For example the above quote is spoken by an extremely sexy character and mind you here…sexy is not about looks it’s about the brains. I love jimmy poter and his kinds. I loved Howard Roark. I loved Darcy. I love that.
I love the fact that these men had passions. Passions going beyond between their legs. So for me it has to be a crazy enough proposition to fall in love. To be able to give in everything. To be able to not think after a while. To be so bloody passionate that it’s fierce. Love does mess up the soul. It does wonders and disasters!
I really don’t know if I am right. At least I feel right!!! That’s an honest confession and also a peek- a -boo into my head!!

Inspirations!

I don’t know if this has ever happened to you, but the smallest of the things take you into a dream world. It makes you drag yourself to a pen and paper or chases you till the nearest computer to start writing your heart.
It happens to me a lot and its the most amazing feeling. One of the reasons I could never be a writer by profession I guess. I cannot be asked to write. I cannot be forced to think. I need my space and my inspiration.
Walking down a dilapidated street in old Mumbai, you would hold your nose for the stink is unbearable. But thankfully eyes are open and so is the brain. The chipping of the wall paint, the rusty iron stairs, the almost broken balcony and the old man without teeth. All are a major source of inspiration. Also is the swanky Bandra home, the couple sitting on Marine drive kissing, the cloudy sky from my office window and the pan -wala who is so oblivious of the world around. Inspiration is also a broken relationship, a memory of that first coffee and that movie ticket that suddenly appears while spring cleaning. I love to observe. To absorb and to reflect!
Everyday mundane activities become so much fun. I really don’t know if this is romanticism or is it my perspective of the reality. All I know is that the way I look at the world makes me live it better!
And I quote the most romantic poet I have read: William Blake :

“To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.”

Speed Post

Dear Darling Dadu,

How are you? Hope all is well up there! I remember writing to you as a child. I remember how you collected all my letters through the years and kept them all safe. It was fun to read them when I would visit you in the summer vacations.

Yes we did share an awesome relation. I still remember how you spoiled me as I was the first grand -daughter. I remember those red shoes I wanted and you travelled all the way to Bata at CP to get them. That was the best surprise that anyone has ever given me.

You know what life has been good here and I am sure you are happy where you are. As you might already know I finally love what I am working on and I love the city… you know its strange that I have very little to talk to you about. I feel always around to just see what I am doing.

Just miss you sometimes. I still crave for the Shank shondesh, the kacha golla and the ek takar samosa. Yes you were my friend to sneak all the bad food. I miss just giving you a tight hug. I miss the sweaty kiss you wanted to give when you came back from the clinic, I miss the look of those patients who looked up at you when you saved lives, I miss your passion to do things, I miss the abuses you showered on people, I miss our conversations, I miss the arguments, I miss laughing with you, I miss shouting out to you, I miss the excitement in your eyes to see me once I came back from college, I miss how we justified the Chinese, I miss the smell of cigar, I miss the sound of your slippers, I miss the way you woke me up to make tea, I miss the winks we shared when we ganged up…. Yes darling I miss you! No one ever will know and no one ever can the way I do!

Hey I am getting emotional, and I don’t think I should be. Love you a lot. And please take care!

Have fun…cheers to you!!!

Absconding

You must be wondering why I have not been blogging! Well no it’s not a guy, neither is it a girl: P

Well have been superbly busy with work. Have had really long nights at work and absolutely no time to write. And there is just so much to write! Which is a good thing for me and a bad one for you all!!

For starters, am proud to say that my film will finally be on air very soon. It’s amazing to see a script transform on the television! So basically I have been struggling on a lot of work with that. But feels good to finally see the final product.

Its been an amazing week in fact. I booked myself a laptop. I watched a play, produced by theatrician ( a theatre group I was part of in college…will talk later about it). I saw an amazing movie – wake up sid! Awesome stuff…loved the movie…caught up with old friends and above all relaxed. This weekend too is going to be jam packed. I have an old friend flying in from Seattle and of course a long lost friend from Kolkata. We have planned a full itenary of what the three days will see us doing. We have just so much to re live!

Sometimes life seems like flying past you. Sometimes it just stands still. I love the flying past one. I love to be on the move. You know stagnation is a scary thing.

Oh by the way I am reading this book – Family Matters by Rohinton Mistry! Its amazing. Really cathartic you know. I have not even completed 20 % of the book and have shed tears! The old man reminds me of my grand father. The suffering is so painful. The book is however well researched. The guy really knows how to get that little emotion out of me. Something that I had left behind somewhere.

To give myself a break therefore I read Almost Single and My friend Sancho back to back! They are really refreshing and an awesome read. I just could not keep down the book. Loved this one part from My friend Sancho and I quote:

” In the red corner, heart. In the blue corner, brain. The bell rings. Brain steps out and waves about in a cerebral manner, foot work assured technique impeccable. Heart saunters out, belches and swings wildly. A few seconds later, brain is on the floor trying to breathe. Heart like a WWF wrestler, climbs onto the ropes at the side of the ring and dives onto brain, elbow first. Brain goes into coma. Heart raises arms, triumphant over an empty that never had a chance in the first place.”

I loved this bit because somewhere it is how I would be in a situation. I cannot think through my brain. If I need to make a decision it has to be through my heart. I would be so much happier to learn from my mistakes than make a decision through my brain!

Ok I guess this particular went really long….had to share so much I guess….was a bit random though…promise to write more soon….!!!

One rainy night

Well yesterday the rain gods showered like crazy on Mumbai and it was just awesome to see the entire sky change its color. So suddenly from the 15^th floor of my office I could see marine drive become dark at 5pm in the evening. It was a beautiful sight. I wish I had my SLR to just click and keep it as a memory. But apart from the beauty of it all, I could see the traffic coming to a stand -still with people panicking etc. from here it was difficult to make out as to what the situation would be down stairs. Then we came to know that there was a difficulty in getting cabs. Trains were running late as well. So naturally the scene was getting bad.

We tried to wrap up things quickly and hurry back home. By the time we got out of office, the cabs were off the roads. After a long wait, finally spotted a cab. The cab driver refused to go. So the coaxing started. And I just had to take that cab as there was nothing else I could see. So I pleaded and reasoned occasionally and then just plain simple begged. In the mean time there were two men who walked up to the same cab and tried to ask him for some other destination. In my head I wanted to slap this guy. How dare he. So I just gave him one of my looks and said “ excuse me, can’t you see that I am already in conversation with him” to which he apologized and said “ Ma’am we both can take the cab”

So there we were taking a cab back home together. Had an awesome conversation on my way back. Exchanged numbers. He left me smiling. Oh he paid too. Invited for lunch etc.

Common on it was a rainy night. We were two strangers. We had to kill time. Made a friend in the bargain!!!

Will you be mine FOREVER!!!

Well it’s big and I don’t know if that even makes sense at this point to me. I don’t know if I am scared of it or if I am still trying to figure that word out. It’s a bit unreal in my world.

So most of my friends are tying the knot and those who are not, know exactly who that “for forever” person is. I really appreciate them but I am clueless about it.

By the way it’s taken me forever to formulate this article. I just don’t seem to get into the flow of finishing this one. Maybe that’s forever. When you don’t want to finish something or the feeling just lingers on. Maybe just maybe my guess is that a person who even if he leave will linger on till ever. That way I have met so many people who have left an impression. People who have touched my life in a certain way. Then they are mine forever. Right?

Maybe not.

Maybe the person for who considers me as forever is actually forever for me. People come and go. People let you come and go but people who make you stay back and stay forever are actually the people you should not let go. Now that’s a complicated way to figure out that Forever!

The Ugly Truth

You know, when you set out to try and figure out the opposite sex…the ugly truth is what you face.

The movie is a beautiful mix of reality and fiction. I loved it. I liked the humor which according to some is a bit too explicit. But then again let’s be mature and enjoy it.

The movie has a cool urban setting. A TV show producer finds herself struggling with the obnoxious and arrogant Gerard Butler. The movie revolves around how both of them tackle with their differences and how they ultimately fall in love –very common theme for a romantic comedy.

The high point of the movie is undoubtedly the humor. It’s fast and very witty. This is one movie which actually shows that men do run away from a situation. There is a woman standing in front of you and giving hints (not even subtle ones) and all he chooses to do is to run away from the situation.

Well, this piece is not a review of the movie. It’s about how I could relate so well to the movie.

Sometimes we just hold back emotions as we fear that they might not be caught well with the other person. Sometimes we just don’t want to speak out our heart and say things. The reasons are so many. Sometimes we just want destiny to work around and make things happen for us. Sometimes we leave everything to that destiny. But my point is…till how long do we leave it. Till how long do we not act?

I wish at the end of two hours like in a movie…I could have my answers. L

Just like that....!!!

I often get into that mood…

I often justify things basis that mood.

Still trying to figure out if others around me feel that way. How I wish I could give that as an excuse in my professional life as well.

It’s been exceptionally sunny here for the past few days and I realized that only when the sun shines brightly in my eyes through my window to wake me up. I do feel irritated. How I always wish the weather was smoky. Love it that way.

One of the reasons I guess I miss winters in Delhi the most. I still remember catching the school bus at 7 am. It used to be pitch dark, street lights still kept switched on for people like us to find a way. The fog was so thick that we would never know if the bus is on its way or did we miss it again.

Winters in Delhi were often referred as “kara ke ki thand” which is what exactly it was. It’s been a while since I saw myself in the mirror and saw my nose red from the cold, or when my mom would warm the water to even wash our faces. The cold was really bad. But I loved to snuggle up in my thick quilt. I remember my dad would snuggle up with me and my sister and try to push us out of the bed in order to wake us up for school.

Oh wow, just felt so good to only think about that winter.

Yes, while reality has attacked my senses now, I will have to move out in the sunny sultry Mumbai weather.

Only a memory now of that winter stays within me…. Nothing can melt it!

Simon and Garfunkel

Well not a cult band of any time. I love them and while am at writing about random thoughts, they seem to be constantly crossing my mind today. Those who have not heard of them… please do so. Maybe not very popular with the generation today, but any music lover of our parent’s time would recall at least one song.

I was introduced to them like many other songs and singers through my parents. Yes they are the sole reason why I like music. As a 2 month old I would sleep to old English music!

Coming back to the band, well it’s a two man show – Paul and Art. What I like about the songs are not the usual deep voice that is so bloody attractive, but the lyrics which a layered and sometimes so on-your-face that it comes as a blow.

My favorite songs:

April come she will

Bridge over troubled water

Homeward bound

I am a rock

Rosemary and thyme

El condor pasa

The dangling conversation …..

The list does not end at all…just that these are a few that I recall off hand….

They have a website now: http://www.simonandgarfunkel.com/

Visit it sometime and check it out! Its always good to discover some good music and it gives me a high to introduce you my friend to some amazing music! J

Friday –the most over-rated day!

Everybody waits for this day. Everyone goes mad for this day to end at work and to start beyond work. I don’t understand why. There are other days which can be turned into a Friday lookalike. Go out partying on a Wednesday night for example. Meet a new person on Monday –it lifts your mood for the entire week that stares ahead. Wear shorts to work on Thursday. Have a team lunch on Tuesday.

Does it really matter which day we are in, in the week if we really want to enjoy and feel good?

Mumbai, I love you!

Inspirations can sometimes just walk into your life. They can be sitting right in front of you but you would take years to realize.

Mumbai has been with me for the last four years. This city has seen me through all sorts of ups and downs.

When I first landed myself in this city, it looked as if it was there welcoming me with open arms. I never once felt the need to go back. Although I must admit I did hate the city a bit. I hated it probably because I was on my own and was left to deal with my own problems. I had no family to fall back on. But I never realized that this was the city that helped me mature into what I am today. Life does take you through a lot of stuffs but I learnt that only in this city.

There are just so many difficulties here, from housing issues to travelling and yet when I leave the city I feel like I am needed here. Every time my flight lands at the airport, I feel like I am back home. I feel like I belong here. I have shifted so many homes. Have met so many people. Have so many friends. How the hell can I hate it?

The city is almost always blamed for being dirty. People just hate the city for its roads. But hey which city gives you the privilege to return home alone at 2 a.m. and get stuck in traffic. The indifference of people here probably makes it a safe place.

I don’t know if I can stop writing about this city. But hey I will be giving back to it and saying thank you in my own way!!!

Because, Mumbai I really do love you!!!! J

A beautiful mess

I usually hate mess. But these days nothing usual is happening with me, so I guess it ok to like the mess. Just the other day I was sitting by the window watching the rains… and I saw around me. There were papers scattered everywhere as I have been working on a few things. There was a mug of coffee that had been around for a while. There was some music lying around, didn’t know which case to go into. My clothes had just come in from the laundry a few days back, they were sitting pretty as well on my bed. There was an ashtray full of stubs. And lastly my thoughts – just all over the place.

I was so comfortable. I was so content with the way things were. This was not really me. But I like the transformation. It’s more relaxed. It’s more like a beautiful mess which I am now used to.

I think I like the mess as it’s me. I like it because I can relate to it. Suddenly seems like this is a kind of life I always wanted. My thoughts are all over as they don’t need to be always guided. I like it because its like a kind of freedom that I feel one should experience. Almost like you don’t have to do something if you don’t want. It’s a very different kind of a feeling and I quite like it!!!

A beautiful mess

I usually hate mess. But these days nothing usual is happening with me, so I guess it ok to like the mess. Just the other day I was sitting by the window watching the rains… and I saw around me. There were papers scattered everywhere as I have been working on a few things. There was a mug of coffee that had been around for a while. There was some music lying around, didn’t know which case to go into. My clothes had just come in from the laundry a few days back, they were sitting pretty as well on my bed. There was an ashtray full of stubs. And lastly my thoughts – just all over the place.

I was so comfortable. I was so content with the way things were. This was not really me. But I like the transformation. It’s more relaxed. It’s more like a beautiful mess which I am now used to.

I think I like the mess as it’s me. I like it because I can relate to it. Suddenly seems like this is a kind of life I always wanted. My thoughts are all over as they don’t need to be always guided. I like it because its like a kind of freedom that I feel one should experience. Almost like you don’t have to do something if you don’t want. It’s a very different kind of a feeling and I quite like it!!!

Late nights, coffee and lots of ideas

Those are probably the few most used words in the life of advertising professionals across the globe. Why I write this is because I feel it finally happening to me. I feel getting sucked into the whole gam - jam of this world. No I never refused it. It’s by choice that I am here.

So it’s past midnight, most of the investment bankers in my building are off to sleep by now. The only floor with lights and people working is mine. I am not complaining. I am not even thinking of going back home. Not that I don’t like home but I just like my work a bit more. No I am not a workaholic but I have a funda that while I am young I just want to work so hard that I am able to chill on a beach with my favourite drink after a few years!

So I am still working this time it’s for a new business acquisition. However I don’t know if it’s the sleep that is blurring my vision or it’s the smoke!

Well, I am writing after a long time and it feels good. I don’t know what’s the reason, if it’s the smoke, the coffee, the work or just a bit of time alone with myself while I think. There is a sudden feeling to write and to express. A sudden urge to open the window of the 15^th floor I am on and feel the wind on my face. I want to let the wind blow my hair, the sand get into my eyes. I want to feel like I will be flown away. Its suddenly very happy here. And yes after a long time I smile with myself. I smile not because of someone. I feel the need to explore more of me!!!

So I would say safely I am back on the scene. I am back with a realization. I am back to stay!

Long while….

It’s been a long time since I last stopped by and sat back and wrote something here. Well let me say lots have happened and lots of things have touched me…..

I like watching the early morning breeze that touches my face when I open my terrace door. I love the smell of tea that I have finally loved to make in the morning. I love the fact that they have a repeat episode on Start World of FRIENDS which I can watch while I read my newspaper.

I love the fact that my mom was impressed with the cleanliness in my house. I love the fact that I did manage to get the pink curtains I wanted.

As you see the new thing in life is….my house/ my home.

I think it does give you a different high to have one in this otherwise difficult city.

All in all I love to stay by myself…..

Lots of my friends ask me if I feel lonely, if I feel the need for a flat mate. Well all I can say is that for now I am happy the way things are. The house is a reflection of who I am. I can read my book, listen the music and best have friend over and chill at home.

For now I love it…..and if I don’t…will let you know!!! J