Mumbai, I love you!

Inspirations can sometimes just walk into your life. They can be sitting right in front of you but you would take years to realize.

Mumbai has been with me for the last four years. This city has seen me through all sorts of ups and downs.

When I first landed myself in this city, it looked as if it was there welcoming me with open arms. I never once felt the need to go back. Although I must admit I did hate the city a bit. I hated it probably because I was on my own and was left to deal with my own problems. I had no family to fall back on. But I never realized that this was the city that helped me mature into what I am today. Life does take you through a lot of stuffs but I learnt that only in this city.

There are just so many difficulties here, from housing issues to travelling and yet when I leave the city I feel like I am needed here. Every time my flight lands at the airport, I feel like I am back home. I feel like I belong here. I have shifted so many homes. Have met so many people. Have so many friends. How the hell can I hate it?

The city is almost always blamed for being dirty. People just hate the city for its roads. But hey which city gives you the privilege to return home alone at 2 a.m. and get stuck in traffic. The indifference of people here probably makes it a safe place.

I don’t know if I can stop writing about this city. But hey I will be giving back to it and saying thank you in my own way!!!

Because, Mumbai I really do love you!!!! J

A beautiful mess

I usually hate mess. But these days nothing usual is happening with me, so I guess it ok to like the mess. Just the other day I was sitting by the window watching the rains… and I saw around me. There were papers scattered everywhere as I have been working on a few things. There was a mug of coffee that had been around for a while. There was some music lying around, didn’t know which case to go into. My clothes had just come in from the laundry a few days back, they were sitting pretty as well on my bed. There was an ashtray full of stubs. And lastly my thoughts – just all over the place.

I was so comfortable. I was so content with the way things were. This was not really me. But I like the transformation. It’s more relaxed. It’s more like a beautiful mess which I am now used to.

I think I like the mess as it’s me. I like it because I can relate to it. Suddenly seems like this is a kind of life I always wanted. My thoughts are all over as they don’t need to be always guided. I like it because its like a kind of freedom that I feel one should experience. Almost like you don’t have to do something if you don’t want. It’s a very different kind of a feeling and I quite like it!!!

A beautiful mess

I usually hate mess. But these days nothing usual is happening with me, so I guess it ok to like the mess. Just the other day I was sitting by the window watching the rains… and I saw around me. There were papers scattered everywhere as I have been working on a few things. There was a mug of coffee that had been around for a while. There was some music lying around, didn’t know which case to go into. My clothes had just come in from the laundry a few days back, they were sitting pretty as well on my bed. There was an ashtray full of stubs. And lastly my thoughts – just all over the place.

I was so comfortable. I was so content with the way things were. This was not really me. But I like the transformation. It’s more relaxed. It’s more like a beautiful mess which I am now used to.

I think I like the mess as it’s me. I like it because I can relate to it. Suddenly seems like this is a kind of life I always wanted. My thoughts are all over as they don’t need to be always guided. I like it because its like a kind of freedom that I feel one should experience. Almost like you don’t have to do something if you don’t want. It’s a very different kind of a feeling and I quite like it!!!

Late nights, coffee and lots of ideas

Those are probably the few most used words in the life of advertising professionals across the globe. Why I write this is because I feel it finally happening to me. I feel getting sucked into the whole gam - jam of this world. No I never refused it. It’s by choice that I am here.

So it’s past midnight, most of the investment bankers in my building are off to sleep by now. The only floor with lights and people working is mine. I am not complaining. I am not even thinking of going back home. Not that I don’t like home but I just like my work a bit more. No I am not a workaholic but I have a funda that while I am young I just want to work so hard that I am able to chill on a beach with my favourite drink after a few years!

So I am still working this time it’s for a new business acquisition. However I don’t know if it’s the sleep that is blurring my vision or it’s the smoke!

Well, I am writing after a long time and it feels good. I don’t know what’s the reason, if it’s the smoke, the coffee, the work or just a bit of time alone with myself while I think. There is a sudden feeling to write and to express. A sudden urge to open the window of the 15^th floor I am on and feel the wind on my face. I want to let the wind blow my hair, the sand get into my eyes. I want to feel like I will be flown away. Its suddenly very happy here. And yes after a long time I smile with myself. I smile not because of someone. I feel the need to explore more of me!!!

So I would say safely I am back on the scene. I am back with a realization. I am back to stay!

Long while….

It’s been a long time since I last stopped by and sat back and wrote something here. Well let me say lots have happened and lots of things have touched me…..

I like watching the early morning breeze that touches my face when I open my terrace door. I love the smell of tea that I have finally loved to make in the morning. I love the fact that they have a repeat episode on Start World of FRIENDS which I can watch while I read my newspaper.

I love the fact that my mom was impressed with the cleanliness in my house. I love the fact that I did manage to get the pink curtains I wanted.

As you see the new thing in life is….my house/ my home.

I think it does give you a different high to have one in this otherwise difficult city.

All in all I love to stay by myself…..

Lots of my friends ask me if I feel lonely, if I feel the need for a flat mate. Well all I can say is that for now I am happy the way things are. The house is a reflection of who I am. I can read my book, listen the music and best have friend over and chill at home.

For now I love it…..and if I don’t…will let you know!!! J

Being Me

Somewhere in the middle of this huge life of mine, I have forgotten myself. I feel lost between my work, my family who don’t live with me, my boyfriend who is ambitious and starting out his career and my friends who just seem to have a life of their own. Even when I am alone I am not thinking about myself.

Just yesterday I sat back and gave this a thought. I felt lost in my own world and trust me it didn’t feel great. I wanted to just leave everything…and go where...Duh!

A few friends noticed all of it somehow. Some advice here and there…and I felt like I was getting on the track again. I know that people are not as important that it takes away me from myself. I have decided to de-clutter my life. Have decided to take a break from others. Just want to live a life where I think about myself. I feel good about myself and just shut away from people and their placements.

Feels good…yes.

Taking up a hobby is the first step. Nurturing it is the other. Spending time with “me” is another agenda and not bothering much about things is the most important one.

My state of mind is such that I feel like just avoid all those who have taken me for granted. For starters at least am thinking of myself.

The point here to this article is to identify a problem and sorting it out. The point here is then just ME.

To Give....

Well life is difficult when you fall in love!!

Yeah I know it’s a very different way of looking at things but trust me I am totally in love but at the same time have learnt how life takes its twists and turns.

As an avid reader love stories in books always seemed a distant experience till the summer of 2007. This was also the time when I had decided that I had to make something of my life. Something worthwhile. Had taken up a job in an advertising agency and loved it. Life was looking good when I met Rohit, not that it has stopped looking good but yeah I know how to make things look good.

Well this literary piece is not for my boyfriend and certainly not a love piece. It’s about life and how we just have so much to absorb from it. It’s been almost a year now and I still struggle to understand the emotions that my boyfriend goes through. He is presently in a b-school and his placement season is on. For me this is a very new season to experience. There is lot of tension lot of frustration and a lot of work. So basically it means that I almost have to be the omniscient girlfriend who should be there when you need her but she should be in your way. She should love you, enjoy your moments of glory and abuse the companies that didn’t take you. I know and I trust that he will be placed but I still need to participate in his anticipation of a job. Its huge it’s so big right now that he talks walks and eats his placements. Initially I was irritated and it took me a lot of time to get to terms with this fact. I had after all fallen for an ambitious guy. I had fallen for someone who had it in him to make it big. And today I had to be his support system. I had be the catalyst that would help him go on forever in his journey. I knew that there would be times when he would have no time to listen to my cribbing sessions. But yeah I always knew that.

That past one week has taught me to look at the bigger picture. To look at the fact that this guy speaks to only me when he gets time. He discusses not only his happiness but also his fears, he is someone who thinks am the best thing for him in his life. He is someone ho makes me laugh even when he has had a bad day at the placements. He tries so hard to keep up with my tantrums. At the end of it I have learnt that his ambitions are not only his. I am proud to be with him

And if I had promised some roses then I guess the thorns were always part of it.

Why do women expect so much? I am being an anti- feminist when I say that I will support him. I am there for him because he has and will be there for me when I go through similar moments of tension.

I don’t know why but am happy that I am experiencing these small doses of tensions. Makes us equipped to withstand the harsh times we are going to see. Also it makes me learn to grow up. It teaches me to take small steps at a time and to live in reality.

Relationships need a lot of commitment and only if you are game for that, should one get into it. They have the capability to make a good human being. Also one should not get lost in between things. A relationship doesn’t mean that we give everything into it. It means we retain ourselves and give our best into it!

Am still learning…..